maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
