Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
