47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
