watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
