are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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