shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
