i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
