marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
