Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
