Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
