i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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