Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
