too bad you live with your parents still
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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