thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
