I can tuck mytits in my pants
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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