So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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