Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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