Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
