I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
