Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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