i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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