Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
