Say something about gay babies.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
