Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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