He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
