Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize