alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
