My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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