he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize