As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
