i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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