Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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