It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
