marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize