dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
