You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Randomize
