I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
