break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
