It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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