drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
