They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
