So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
