Redeem this text for a blowjob
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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