i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
