walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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