I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
