Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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