You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
