Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
