For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
