I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
